Wedding Photographer Blog

Five things you should NOT do immediately after getting engaged.

Deevo Tindall - Saturday, February 06, 2016
Five things you should NOT do immediately after getting engaged.


#1 Posting anything on any social media sites, until you have notified both sets of parents, and grandmas and grandpas

I know you are excited that you just got engaged and the Kardashians probably did mass bellow it online, but you are different.You are thoughtful and sensitive to those that love you and raised you and they deserve to know first!

Plus what’s the rush?Bask in the moment for a bit, it’s a pretty cool feeling.Maybe plan your announcement at a “special brunch” the following morning.Trust me, the fam will be honored you considered and respected them this much – it will go a long way!

If your parents live in another state/country – maybe plan a Facetime/Skype session.Pinterest has all sorts of cool ways you could borrow on how to break the news to the fam.

After your parents have been notified properly, then come the besties.They want to hear this directly from you.The fellas, probably don’t give a crap, but the lady friends, they want to feel important too!Ask them to keep their traps shut though as well.You want the honors of telling your digital fans.

Finally, a few days later, when you are certain all the really important people are in on the news – share it online!

bride embarrassed and smiling at her husband

2. Don’t start planning your wedding right away and don’t freak out.

Getting married IS a big deal, you should be excited, ecstatic, on cloud 9 – just don’t get carried away with the emotions that you don’t stop and think about a plan of attack.

Getting married is a big deal. It’s a commitment. And it’s for life.Planning a wedding should be fun.Recruit a small team and divvy up some of the responsibilities with you still at the helm of all decisions.Maybe consider hiring a wedding planner.Google wedding planning checklists.It can be overwhelming, but if you strategically approach it using the myriad of tools at your disposal, it can also be very fun and very rewarding.

Or, you can just find an amazing photographer and elope to some exotic island or Europe!I’m just sayin

woman kissing her fiance while sitting and sipping wine

3. Don’t go telling everyone your super cool plans.

Let me tell you a little story.I knew this bride that come into the studio with her “best friend” who was had also just gotten engaged.She went on and one about all these amazing ideas she had for her wedding.Fast forward a few months, we are talking on the phone and I ask about her floating lanterns and her escape car and her sparklers and she starts crying.She and her bestie were on the fringes and her bestie decided to have her wedding a month before hers and is basically inviting the same group of friends, but she also decided to plagiarize her former friend’s wedding.

It’s fine to talk about some of your plans – but keep them relatively generic on the gossip line until they have fully materialized.

Furthermore, it takes a village.You may need to run all this by other folks, i.e. vendors, family, etc.Something’s may just not be possible and try to stay in your budget

bride and groom dancing under the pier in Charleston SC

4. Don’t commit To Your Bridal Party (Or Your Guest List)

OK, repeat after me… “This is my wedding!”Say that again – louder “This is my wedding!”You can invite whomever you both want at YOUR wedding.Unless of course your mom and dad are paying for the whole thing – in that case you might not know half the people there.

But seriously, this can be a little tricky – so slow down and think about it carefully. You and your partner should talk about this in detail.Big wedding?Small wedding?What does my wedding budget allow?If your wedding is more than a year away, a lot can change in one years’ time.

bride with her bridesmaids laughing at the park

5. Don’t just go buy your wedding gown right away

I met with a bride last week who wasn’t even engaged yet, she already had her dress, and she showed me pictures on her phone.I get it; you’re both destined to be together – forever and ever.

I see a lot of wedding planning checklists, and they all say “#1, purchase your wedding gown – before some other bride gets it first…”.Really?You think they only make ONE dress – ok, maybe if you are Kardashian (second reference) but are you spending $50k on a custom gown?

My advice is to browse magazines, go to stores, lots of them, and try on lots of dresses.Just because it looks good on a hanger or flawless on the size 3 bride in the magazine does not mean it will look the same on you.TRUST ME.

And who says you have to get the gown months before the wedding anyway, the only reason you would need a gown months before the wedding is if you are going to do a bridal session with your wedding photographer.And of course if it needs to be tailored.But does that really take a year?Styles change from month to month.I say take your time on this and find the dress that is absolutely perfect for you.

bride looking at her wedding gown and bridesmaid dresses


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